a girl broke my heart today while an other just watched....

wow, i sure know how to pick friends.

i'm actually planning to arrive school with a knife in my pocket.

she destroyed my life, why not return the favor?


i actually just wanted 2 say i'm taking a brake from deviantart.

I need a vacation of some sort, from life.....and everything.

consider me dead for how long it takes to heal my heart.

Love Sylvia. <3

It's not like i dont wanna do it.....well Sylvia wants too.


THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Beyond Birthday
2. Light?
3. Sylvia....

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. Gothiny
2. xXBeyondXx
3. moonyic

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. Eating Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream
2. Missed my loved ones
3. Trying to find a drawing that i somehow have misplaced

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I can draw
2. I'm usually good at hiding my REAL feelings (and yes even my closest friends might not always notice that...)
3. I-I dont think there's anything else to like about me....T_T (except that i try to spoil my friends when i have money?)

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My legs
2. My face
3. My freakin boobies!(DO NOT WANT!)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
1. Norwegian
2.
3.

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
1. Open windows and doors
2. Not finding a raven to call my own
3. Suicide.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Stripy shirt
2. boxers
3. Baggy jeans

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music
2. Drawing
3. Yaoi

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
1. Friends
2. Candy
3. My computer

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. Depeche Mode
2. Muse
3. Blackfield

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. Being with somebody that understands what you're feeling because they are feeling excactly the same
2. Cosplaying with Raaya
3. Reading and music

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. AWIM- Kill me
2. Mest- Kiss me, Kill me
3. Zero 7- If i cant have you..

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. making a cosplay vid?
2. Writing more on my fanfic's
3. Finish reading Bloody kisses, Strawberry smiles

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
1. Falling in love
2. Believing in good
3. Having multiple personalities

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love
2. Intellegence (that sounds weird 4 somebody who dont have that but fudfifugidh!)
3. Good looks (or at least that i feel attracted 2 the person i'm in love with...)

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
1.
2.
3.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
1. I hurt myself
2. I hurt others
3. I like disney

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. math
2. look pretty
3. love

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
1. Trust
2. Sanity
3. Believing in myths and stories

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. L wrapped in red bonds....in a box......covered in jam...>:3
2. An extreme makeover 4 my room
3. A vacation 2 japan for 1 month

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
1. Cartoons/movies
2. Hate
3. Friends

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Drawing
2. Reading
3. Singing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. LOVE!
2. company or candy or burn
3. My own house.....

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Vokalist
2. manga artist
3. Actress

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
1. Japan
2. USA
3. England

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
1. L lawliet
2. Tamaki
3. er....Light yagami<3

THREE BOY’S NAMES:
1. Raito
2. Lawliet
3. Mello

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
1. Lisa
2. Misa
3. Celine

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Learn japanese
2. Travel to japan
3. Give out an album or comic xD!!!!

I am not depressed, just sad and not happy.

I want to be in my OWN house ,with my OWN life ,with MY rules.

Everyday is becomming a routine ,the same over and over again.

My emotions are becomming acting and i dont feel like Sylvia. (i honestly stopped saying "Me" when i mean "Sylvia")

I dont want to be Sylvia, My clothes, My hair, My home.....it is not mine.

I act happy to please people i care about.

I stopped caring about myself a loooong time ago.

But I've never stopped BEING myself before.

I want a "unemotional" pause.

= I dont wanna show emotions I'm not happy with how I feel and I FREAKIN HATE WHAT FEEL!

-I wanna hurt myself, Not mentally as I do 24/7 , It's physical this time....i wanna hurt myself BADLY.

I DESERVE it, I'm a BAD person, And I act oddly.

Somebody should break me, but they dont need too, i'm doing it greatly myself.

I dont know how to make people happy, so why the effing hell should i know how 2 make myself happy.

I've loved one guy, and only one.

He broke my heart by not caring, and slowly turning into all the things i hate with all my heart.

I now am in love with all my heart with a fictional character, because he can't hurt me.

I'm actually a little scared if you want to now how i feel more symbolistic, here it is :

See a girl, in a corner, cutting her mouth up so she can pretend better to smile (not joker related)

Theres burn marks on her skin saying : Stupid, self-injuring, selfish, bitch, cheap, fake and egosentric, even self-sentered.

She is wearing clothes, just a white cloth with dirt and blood.

She's sitting on drawings, torn to pieces.

In her palm there's paper cuts, on her knees there's razor cuts.

on her right there's food it hasnt been taken even the slightest bite off.

That's how i feel.

I can't draw it either because it'll look fatal.

I thousand people, yelling at me, shouting my name.

But i wanna die, in this moment, i wanna die.

No way 2 understand why i've become the way i am.

Blackfield- A Thousand People

Under 20=Seme
Over 20=Uke

01-[ ] You like to be content in everything.
02-[ ] When a person confesses his/her love to you and you don’t like him/her, you start feeling very tense and/or you don’t know what to say.
03-[ ] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.
04-[x] You are quite hyperactive.
05-[ ] If you don’t like something, you start crying and you don’t care if you start talking too loud.
06-[x] You love candies or any type of caramel.
07-[ ] You like making others blush.
08-[x] You sleep with a doll/ teddy bear/ pillow in your hand.
09-[ ] You’re usually shy with the opposite sex. (what..? .///.)
10-[x] You like romantic- funny anime.
11-[x] Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L.
12-[x] You have listened “an café”.
13-[x] You like listening to it.
14-[x] You have 1 or 2 song on your computer of “an café”.
15-[x] You are innocent and a little clumsy.
16-[x] You smile at kitties.
17-[/] You usually say –kawaii-.
18-[x] You like plushies.
19-[ ] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.
20-[x] You hate Paris Hilton because she is an idiot.
21-[ ] You have been lost in a shopping center/parking/cinema.
22-[ ] You have called to the mistaken number twice or more.
23-[ ] You cried with Pocahontas' ending.
24-[x] You have used a very feminine dress or shirt.
25-[x] You call your pets with cute names.
26-[x] You believe that yaoi/yuri is the best.
27-[ ] You're easily to trick/convince. (it depends..)
28-[ ] Some men scare you.
29-[ ] You have seen Pucca and you like it. (not anymore)
30-[ ] You have pink/red clothes or they are decorated with flowers.
31-[ ] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you get lost in space.
32-[ ] You’ve said “Kyao” or something like that before.
33-[ ] When a person of your same sex gets angry with you, you’re at the defensive.
34-[/] You like j-pop.(some of it.)
35-[x] You have cried for more than one movie/TV series.
36-[ ] You watched gravitation and you felt like Shuichi
37-[ ]you watched strawberry panic and you felt like Nagisa.
38-[x] You smile with no reason.
39-[x] You usually are very positive.
40-[ ] When there’s a rainbow, you run out to see it.
41-[ ] You usually don’t understand what your parents say.

I got 19.
HA! Almost uke, but still not.
That's the kind of result I